Spite and Malice

August 23, 2010

Visiting guests at Jack & Doug’s house, the Mensh family (New Hampshire neighbors of Doug and Pam) mentioned this morning that Daisy looks like she’s in heat….if so, Dr. Wilmer (pronounced “Veel-mir”) has a lot of explaining to do, since he spayed her 2 months ago. I’ve got to admit though, that Daisy does seem to be exhibiting many of the tell-tale signs of impending ardor, and more than the usual dog-boys are hanging around the neighborhood.

For the last week, the weather has been cloudy with heavy drizzle and rain and we’ve been cooped up in the house. After the last 7 years in Palm Springs, I also think it is too cold (though I doubt most would consider 68-70 degrees “cold”) and I’m thinking about going over to borrow one of Julie’s minks; maybe bringing those wasn’t such a bad idea after all.*

Perhaps the weather has been getting to us, because Todd and I have been bickering over little things like the proper way to fill out a receipt book, how much beer to buy off the truck on Tuesday, and whose i-Pod turn it is....The other morning he and I had a stupid fight about wet towels that almost escalated into a shoving match.

We’ve been playing a lot of cards and backgammon to pass the time, with cribbage generally being our game of choice. We’re both competitive types, and for seven years, we’ve kept score in a notebook that is….um….colorful and not meant for young eyes.  We tally 50 cents to a dollar (depending on game) and I think he’s got me so far for around $239. It’s not that I’m a bad player – the boy is just lucky, I’m telling you.

We decided to learn a new game** this week, and we have become fiends for “Spite & Malice”.  It’s a new game for Todd, though I used to play it years ago with Mom, but I had forgotten it.

We’ve enjoyed it so much I thought I would share the rules; I understand there may be other variations to this game that include more than two players.

SPITE AND MALICE

Number of Players:

Two

Cards:

Two packs. Pack A is a standard 52-card pack. Pack B is a standard 52-card pack, plus four jokers. The packs should be of different back designs or colors.

Rank of Cards:

K (high), Q, J, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, A (low).

Preliminaries:

Pack A is shuffled and divided into two 26-card packets, which become the pay-off piles of the two players. Each player turns up the top card of his pay off pile; the higher card designates the first player, and if the cards are the same rank, the pay off piles are shuffled and the new cards turned up.

Pack B is shuffled by the first player’s opponent, who deals a five-card hand to each player (one at a time, face down) and puts the remainder of Pack B in the center as the stock.

Object of the Game:

To get rid of one’s pay-off pile.

The Play:

Each available ace must be played immediately to form a center stack.  There may be no more than four center stacks at one time.  Each available two must be played, if possible, on an ace in a center stack. Center stacks are built up in ascending order, regardless of suit – any deuce on any ace, any three on any two, etc. Both players play to center stacks.

Each player may have four side stacks.  These are discard piles. A player may play only to his own side stacks and only from his hand.  Any card may start a side stack. Side stacks are build downward, regardless of suit (any five on any six), or with like cards (any queen on any queen). When there are already four center stacks, a deuce from the hand may be played on a three in a side stack, and an ace on a deuce.

The top card of a pay-off pile may be played only to the center. When it is played, the next card is turned up. A card from the hand or from the top of a side stack may be played to the center. A card from the hand may be played to a side stack, but only one such card in a turn.  When a player plays to a side stack his turn ends and his opponent’s turn begins.  Cards may not be moved from one side stack to another, or to fill a space.

A player may also end his turn by saying so, when he cannot, or does not wish to, play.

Rules of Play:

Each joker is wild and may be played in place of any card except an ace. If a joker becomes available at the top of a side stack, it may be played to the center.

At the beginning of each turn, a player draws enough cards from the stock to restore his hand to five cards.

When any center stack is built up through the king, it is shuffled into the stock.  A new center stack is then started.

Scoring:

The player who first gets rid of all the cards in his pay-off pile wins, his margin being the number of cards in his opponent’s pay-off pile. If there are cards left in both pay-off piles and neither player can or will play, the winner is the player who has fewer cards in his pay-off pile and he wins the differences; but it is never legal to count the cards in a pay-off pile.

* “Bring the Mink”

** Glad we brought the “Official Rules of Card Games” book.

We play everywhere now.
Wicked game going on at Casa del Sol