I See What?

March 1, 2012



The Eagle and the Condor

In 2006, while living in Palm Springs (and Ecuador was not even a blimp on the radar then), I read an article in the March 2006 issue of “National Geographic ADVENTURE” written by Kira Salak about her experience during a shamanic healing ritual involving ayahuasca on a trip to Peru (“To Hell and Back”).  I was utterly fascinated when I read the piece and sorta mentally put that on my “bucket list of things to do”, but it seemed unlikely, because South America had yet to beckon me.

To quote Wikipedia:

 "Ayahuasca" or "ayawaska" is Quechua for , "spirit vine" or "vine of the souls"; aya means "spirit" while huasca or waska means "vine".  

 (I think it is a combination of two different plants that grow naturally in the jungle here, and usually drank as a tea).  

"Ayahuasca is used largely as a religious sacrament. Users of ayahuasca in non-traditional contexts often align themselves with the philosophies and cosmologies associated with ayahuasca shamanism, as practiced among indigenous peoples.”

To further quote Wikipedia:

“While non-native users know of the spiritual applications of ayahuasca, a less well-known traditional usage focuses on the medicinal properties of ayahuasca. When used for its medicinal purposes ayahuasca affects the human consciousness for less than six hours beginning half an hour after consumption, and peaking after two hours. The remedy also has cardiovascular effects, moderately increasing both heart rate and diastolic blood pressure. The psychedelic effects of ayahuasca include visual and auditory stimulation, the mixing of sensory modalities, and psychological introspection that may lead to great elation, fear, or illumination. Its purgative properties are important (known as la purga or "the purge"). The intense vomiting and occasional diarrhea it induces can clear the body of worms and other tropical parasites”

I was recently honored to be invited to a shamanic healing ritual, held last Saturday night beginning at 10PM, and lasting all night and well into Sunday morning. Our British friend Melanie (who’s been in South America/Ecuador for a long time, speaks Spanish fluently, committed and well on the path towards her “Vision Quest”, and who has become a very special friend to Todd & me), has been encouraging us to attend one of the seemingly “spur of the moment” scheduled ceremonies, but the time never seemed right, or I was just too scared to say “yes” until now.

Ayahuasca has been used here in Ecuador for centuries for spiritual and medicinal reasons, and I’ve either read, been told first hand, or witnessed personally the beneficial effects on those who respect the ritual.
I’ve also met folks that should probably lay off the ayahuasca for awhile.

But make no mistake; this journey is not for the faint-hearted, nor those who view it as a recreational opportunity. Lady Ayahuasca should be never treated with anything other than the utmost respect.

It is an awesome experience, but also very, very uncomfortable at times. There is a good reason that it’s sometimes called the “Warriors’ Path” or the “Path of the Warriors”. I think the three most important attitudes to bring – should you agree to this mission are:

• A desire and willingness to be healed – AND HAVE A GOAL IN MIND when you do it.
• A sense that “you are ready”.
• Open-mindedness.

Oh, and don’t mind getting really, really dirty. And it’s a good idea to cleanse before-hand by avoiding spicy or salty food, fats, caffeine, acidic products and alcohol a few days before and after. And drink lots and lots of water, because once the ceremony starts it is forbidden until offered at the appropriate time(s), as well as tobacco, unless that is used for ceremonial purposes.

When Melanie and I arrived a little after 10PM, the ceremonial accouterments and the all important center fire configuration was being prepared in the lodge. It was an unusually large crowd for this ceremony, which normally would have been held outside, but it was raining, and it was somewhat cramped inside the rustic/native lodge that was used instead. I suppose around 35 people were in attendance, not counting the children or the shamans and “shaman helpers” (for lack of better word). Locally, we have a couple of well-respected shamans, Jorge and Jorgito (Jorge’s adult son, who is anything but little).

One of the reasons that this particular ceremony was packed was because we had the honor of a visiting Shuar shaman known as “Taita Segundo” presiding. I believe that he was introduced to me first as “Mario” before the ceremony began – a humble, kind-eyed, gentle man, with a powerful presence – and one who will always be “Taita” to me from now on. Taita has been training as a shaman since around the age of 8-yrs, in the Amazon and has a true gift (which isn’t necessarily passed on from father to son). Interestingly, Taita has no hands (which are both amputated at the wrists, and I’ve heard several stories as to why).

The whole ceremony was conducted in Spanish, and I suppose lots of Quechua (also spelled Quichua).

I think one of my first astonishments as we gathered in the lodge to begin the ceremony was the joviality of the people attending, as well as the number of children that were present. Almost everyone at this ceremony was indigenous Ecuadorian to some degree, and it truly seemed like a family affair, much celebrated and – I thought – similar to an estados unidos Thanksgiving gathering.

Jorge gave a very impassioned yet calm “sermon?” to begin (and while I didn’t understand most of it, felt very soothed as he spoke, and grateful that Melanie and a couple of other ingles speakers were sitting near me to translate certain important points). Much of what he said was greeted with assenting grunts and versions of “amen’s”. While he was speaking he was smoking a special natural tobacco combination stogie (not likely to be marijuana). There is a special consideration regarding the plants used for ceremony. Special, naturally growing tobacco blends are used, since it is considered as sending “incense” to the heavens/spirit world, and may vary according to shaman/tribe/ceremony? At least to the best of my understanding at this point.

After he was done speaking, the “cigar” was passed around amongst the shamans (Jorgito, Taita and Carmen the “woman of incense” and they each expounded as they puffed). ”Ruvel" was minding to the center fire, which I have to think is an honor and a selfless sacrifice, since focusing on the fire is an important part of the ceremony for participants but requires constant vigilance from the tender of the fire. 

Virtually every ritual I’ve heard of involves tobacco shared with all (in one form or another) to begin the purging process and I was kinda dreading that. Fortunately, we only had to snort tobacco water, poured into the palms of our hands and then inhaled into each nostril, starting with the left nostril (representing the heart).  That wasn’t bad, and infinitely preferable to drinking a combination of chewed up tobacco mixed with spittle that I’ve heard used in other ceremonies.

Following that, a bag of tobacco was passed around and each of us in turn threw our pinch of tobacco onto the fire, appealing to our heads, our hearts and our spirit for healing, with a specific vision and reason for attending.

Then the liquid ayahuasca was passed around in what may be best described as a jigger, and a full one at that. It is understood that whatever you agree to ingest, you agree to drink the full contents before it is passed to the next person. All of us shared from the same glass/plate in whatever was passed around. Before the ayahuasca concoction is sent around the circle, each one of us was provided a barf bag. It takes around 30-40 minutes for the medicine to take effect. The only way to do it is to chug it; I didn’t think it was too bad tasting, and I have a very sensitive gag reflex.

The ceremonial stick and rattle were then passed. Those who knew sacred songs, (healing songs called “icaros” I think) sang them while holding the “stick” and rattle, and for those of us who didn’t, were asked to prounounce a blessing with them, and pass them to the next person) as a drum beat played by Jorgito kept constant accompaniment while waiting for the ayahuasca to kick in. It was a special time of sharing, and I did my best to keep my focus on the center fire.

About an hour into it, I was feeling pretty proud (okay, maybe a little too smug) that I wasn’t puking like most around me (including those who were well accustomed to the ritual, and not ashamed about “la purga” portion, however it manifests).

…Until I quite suddenly realized that my purge was going to involve coming out rather explosively from the other end.

There is no lady-like way to explain this next phase. Suffice to say that while I did manage to stumble to the nearby, rather basic bano…I didn’t quite make it all the way to the toilet, and managed to soil not only my undies and the pair of sweatpants I had pulled on underneath my long skirt – for modesty and warmth during the night- I also managed to crap some on the floor. This was probably the most singularly uncomfortable moment during the ritual, since I certainly didn’t want someone needing the bano after me to slip in it, so I spent what seemed to me to be a long, wobbly time trying to wipe up the floor with what was available, washed my only panties in the sink so I could keep on wearing those wet, rinsed off the sweat pants, and tossed them outside the lodge till it was all over.

I think I earnestly entered into this experience with some idea of what was to happen, and did my best not to have any pre-conceived expectations. But you know, I’ve talked to many credible people that take the ritual seriously, who have had a genuine spiritual awakening and/or awesome visions, and the opportunity to re-visit past life experiences as in a movie reel. In all honesty, I was hoping to taste some of that.

But did I see dead, ancient and wise Amazon warriors speaking to me?... No.

Did I have visions of flying like a condor over the jungle, or any other connection to my particular power spirit animal (“arútams”?)…No.

Did I get to revisit certain moments in my life worth reviewing?...No.

What I did see were trails of what appeared to be dental floss stuck to my hand as I was wiping up the bathroom floor.

 After that, I was somewhat fearful. I crawled back into my spot, and I was either laid flat on my back or huddled in a fetal position with part of the blanket I brought (also being shared with those next to me) for the next couple of hours while dozing and enjoying a dreamless “sleep” (that I remember); a rejuvenating siesta.  I do remember clearly that at some point I was asked several times if I wanted to sit up and partake of the next round or two of other medicines sent around, which I declined because I was barely able to squeak out “No, I don’t think so; I’m doing just fine at the moment”, though I rather regret that decision now.

During that portion of the ceremony, Taita came around to each one of us (waving/fanning with a “wand” of corn husk leaves and other things to perform individually tailored, gifted healing rituals for each of us. I did manage sit up long enough to receive this. To some he said more or less “stick around tomorrow, you need lengthier and specific work done that can’t be incorporated/time enough or private enough during this rite”. Later, on Sunday morning after the ceremony was officially over, I observed Taita carry out some of those individual treatments and I am still trying to process the methods and healings I witnessed.

After a couple of hours, as the hallucinogenic properties of the natural medicines subsided, or were at least more endurable, all were invited to join in the next phase of the authentic sweat lodge portion of the ritual. I think most all except the sleeping children opted “in” on this, myself included, though I was dreading it. It started before sunrise and lasted into daybreak and was at least a couple of hours long. HOURS LONG.

It was almost more than I thought I could possibly tolerate (thankfully, I was told before-hand to bring a loose fitting sweat-lodge extra pair of clothes). It went on forever, and I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to bolt from that hot, stifling, claustrophobic, unfamiliar environment, if nothing else than to gasp a couple of deep breaths of fresh air on the real or pretext need for the bano (which some did). There is a certain male/female ritual for entering or leaving the tent, and specific rituals for how and when to present/use the heated rocks, the antlers used to position them, the sacred tobacco incense burned atop, the water added at the end to make it steamy right before the only open tent flap is shut (four times this process is repeated in recognition of the sacred elements of air, water, fire and earth)….Jorge was telling stories in Spanish/Quichua, sharing invaluable oral stories and traditions for some time, and while I didn’t understand most of it with my mind, his voice was hypnotically soothing, and I was drifting to the very comfortable in-between place of “not asleep/nor awake” and somehow understood his meaning and tales with my heart. There is much more I would like to add to this paragraph, but will leave it at this for now.

When we emerged from the sweat lodge, we rinsed off/cleaned up some in a not-fancy communal type showering area that did include a couple of curtained of stalls for the women to use before changing back into the clothes we wore, or whatever else we brought to wear that was clean or cleaner.

The final rite of the ceremony was a shared breakfast of corn, meat and fruit after a sweet, females only singing procession bringing in the food (which I felt honored to be asked to carry in the watermelon tray) and then an elaborate prayer, and the meal was shared amongst us on mutual platters, which we ate using our hands. It was very jolly and relaxing time with the kids awoken and frolicking around, and I feel like I’ve been adopted and welcomed into a new “family”.

I admit I was at first motivated by curiosity to attend this ritual. I also became moved to participate because I sensed within myself that it was the right time to “do it” and that I was personally ready to embrace the potential healing aspects of it, despite my considerable trepidation.

I heard from friends and family beforehand well-meant comments and (perhaps well-founded) concerns about this choice (i.e. “whatever you do, DON’T get in the sweat lodge; people die in those”, to one of my daughters firmly admonishing me NOT to eat any strange plants….to which I was wondering if drinking them might be okay instead).

Was it an awesome experience?  Yes.

Was it for the most part a miserably uncomfortable night? Yes.

Did I learn something from it? Yes, though I'm still trying to process and articulate my experience, except to say I’m most definitely impressed with a new sense of inner-calm, peace and serenity that I’ve felt since then.

Others have commented about a new “glow” to my demeanor, including some folks who are not/were not aware of what I participated in last Saturday night. It was a voyage into the unknown, and an opportunity to peel back some stubborn, spiritual outer “onion skin layers”, to use an un-original and cliché analogy.  

Is it a journey that I am willing to explore some more? Yes.  When the time is right.

But next time I’m going to bring a few extra panties and a towel.

*** All pictures included with this post were culled from the internet, and my thanks to these unknown photographers.